September 1, 2012. It was a rainy Saturday night. It was the start of the CLP, a program I previously committed myself with. There's no way a mere rain can stop me from going to what I believe as a celebration of faith and joy.
I know what to expect when I first learned that there will also be a CLP in the community I'm currently located. Ever since I found something that gives joy to my heart, I have started looking for others that can make it last. It so happened that this has just about to start. I'm fortunate to be given a second chance to finish this, and blessed that I can be back to Him.
7 o'clock in the evening was the call time. I made sure to come early for I'm not familiar with the venue. I made it in time. I just waited for the other participants to arrive, then we'll start the orientation. Since it's raining, I somehow expected that the others will come in late. It's OK for me, waiting no big deal anymore, especially if you're enjoying the atmosphere in the venue.
It is nice to start a conversation with a new group of people with a common interest. I am not much of a "speaker", I was actually the quiet type who won't have the guts to throw the first question to someone I have just met. Good thing is that the Service Team has been very accommodating so I was not left out sitting in that side of the chapel. While waiting, some of the ST started practicing the Praise and Worship songs we'll be singing in a while. I'm not a good singer, but that time, I felt like I want to make my voice be heard (though out of tune) and joined the group in singing. It's the first time I heard those songs, but they're somehow familiar, or nostalgic perhaps, since I was there before. I loved the lyrics of the songs. They were prayers as well. Some of the lines I can still remember to date:
Truly Home
You have called me by name and I followed You
My heart is in flame for I know I'm one of the few
Though unworthy I am
You gave me a chance
To be the best I can
For I was away and I was astray
But here I am standing before You
I am home (back into your arms)
I am home (in the warmth of your love)
I lose my hold and you reach my hand
You held me up
I'm truly home
--- I can see myself saying these words. I have just experienced this story. So while singing, I can't hide a smile in my face.
Here's another one.
Open the Eyes of my Heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart
I want to see you
I want to see you
to see you high and lifted up
shining in the light of your glory
Lord, pour out your power and love
as we sing Holy, Holy, Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy,
you are Holy, Holy Holy
Holy, Holy, Holy
I want to see you
--- In silence, we can find God. We can talk to Him. That's one of the ways to keep our relationship with Him.
These songs reminded me of the First CLP I attended, and the two songs I loved the most: Whom Shall I Fear and Refiner's Fire. Some things never change. I haven't enjoyed singing this much again for quite some time. :)
One by One, my co-participants came in. All in all, we're 13. (I hope more will join us in this activity). I think I'm the oldest among the "Brothers". I'm still young though, I may not look like one :D The group of sisters were somehow in my age bracket. Most , if not all, are employed as well (with teachers among their ranks). And my fellow Brothers, it seems that I will truly be a "Big Brother" this time.
The talk started, with a note that the first day is just the orientation. (Uhmmm, I'm really losing touch of my good memory, I forgot the name of the speaker from CFC, sorry brother). I can only remember him cracking up jokes and keeping the talk alive, and also, the four kinds of people he mentioned. The Poor, the Captives, the Blind, and the Oppressed. At some point, I know I have been in one of these categories - another reason why I'm seeking Him again.
It was a good free-flowing talk, until "Bro. Speaker" suddenly asked me a question. I thought I was ready to answer anything, but then, I got blanked, or perhaps, shy, uncomfortable, and the like. "What was the greatest lie you ever said?" Until now, I'm still contemplating on the answer I should have said. In God's grace, I hope that the time will come that I can freely express myself and let these silly emotions prevent me from sharing something about myself. It will come, I'm sure it will.
And here comes another activity. We were asked to make paper planes. I forgot how to make one. I relied on my 12-15 year old memory of old school origami and came up with a paper plane that could not fly :) . In those paper planes, we wrote our names , likes and dislikes, and questions. I felt like a child again by that time. Doing those things like you're in school for an arts and religion class is somehow enjoyable. My paper plane may not have flown up high, but at least, it carried a part of myself, and someone has willingly picked it up. The same way that God has held me up again in my most trying times.
The spark in me is growing again. The seed has been selected. In time, it will be planted slowly, until a plant comes from it and grows into a tree.
Looking forward to another session. Next stop: God's Love.
My Saturday nights will never be the same again. :)
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