Fly along the white balloons on a Sunday afternoon...

Here we go again...

A lot of incidents had caused me to hate (or any synonym working for dislike) this year. Yes, full of tragic events. Specifically, DEATH: Something that's really out of hand, beyond human intervention (yes, it is, despite the things we call Technology and Medicine).

How many famous people have been reported "dead" this year? How many are those who have been victims of nature's wrath? Yes, a significant number.

Well, I don't care about those deaths when people closest to me are the ones leavin'... Leaving at a point of no return.

Early this year, an aunt passed away. Her children (second degree cousins) were among my childhood friends. Knowing that it's been a long battle, I somehow thought that it is best for my cousins to accept this one, looking at the bright side that "Tita" now rests til eternity. Well, I guess they did. The challenge for them is how to live without both parents by their sides. They will pass this test, I'm sure (hey, we're the Power Kidz 10 years ago, they will prevail ^_^).

Next and the worst for me, Tatay. I really do not want to restate this anymore coz it only brings back the pain (and might show that I'm still holding on to what was "lost", displaying a "Weakness" or so I think) but these memories always brings me back to that scene. After that happened, I viewed "death" (of others) with lesser meaning. Something inevitable, a normal phenomenon. I am even ready to face my own end (maybe, knowing I have nothing to lose). This is life. It's harsh reality. Everybody will die. Why fear it? Why fear anything that causes you pain? Death is the most painful yet the most soothing experience.

I am unsure whether I'm still at the denial stage or at the starting point of acceptance. I am fully aware that he's on the other side now. I guess, flashbacks are normal, especially for someone who tends to be emotional (and weird) sometimes.

Two more deaths from my home barrio adding the toll to 4 in a year. I took the news as if somebody has just been brought to the hospital or it's somebody's birthday. Cruel for me. I seem not to symphatize (I did, but having experienced the same loss, I can care less for others. Such self-centeredness huh?! I'm quite numb now.) with those people. May they rest in peace. My condolences to the families.

It seems that the count is not yet over. The last month of the year, an uncle went to rest as well. The same cause with my father - Heart complication (now I have an idea how I will go there as well... just thinking by logic.) I'm not really that "close" to him but I shared some unforgettable memories with my cousins and their home. The news came out of the blue. Never expected, never thought of. Really a traitor disease.

Time to send him off. It's been a short stay.

Bracing the heat of the Sunday sun, dressed in white , with the white balloons leading the way. We're moving forward.

A short yet a walk to remember and forget. Funeral marches are alike. Tears and sweat on one side and the other, what a pain. We're off to send him off.

"Be prepared to receive HIM. He is always ready. Only the preparations on OUR part is lacking."

Here it goes. Time to set those tied bunch of white balloons free to the clear Sunday sky. Let the children do the honors. Hold them a second, release them in a jiffy. One by one, the white balloons are heading to the sky. Fifteen, ten, eight, five, three.. none. The wind have guided them to their final resting place. As the last traces of sobs and woes disappear, the last balloon went out of sight.

There they stand. In a full white attire. With deep smiles drawn on their faces. I imagine myself in front of them, with the sunlight bathing my face, taking my proud salute.

We will meet again. On the same place where the wind has blown those white balloons off.

2009 end now!!!!

this year's been tragic!!!!

if only I could erase this year from my life.

I would have done so...

.........sighs.............

Life really is so short..

This year's the worst...