Good things are meant to last for just a few moments.
I thought that it will never end.
I was wrong. I wish I was wrong again in saying this.
I should have expected this. After all, we made a promise before, that if ever the time comes that we lost communication or failed to keep in touch with each other, we know to ourselves that we’re still there for each other, and that we will always be good friends.
I guess that day had already passed without me noticing. I just realized it a few days ago, and it’s now too late to undo the mistake.
A part of me is somehow contented with how the things are going, after all, I know that she is so happy with her life today. She had achieved some of her dreams, and she now has someone who cares for her more than what I can give her as a friend. Her life would go on without me. It’s the same for me, life goes on without her, but it will never be the same. I know I’m not that important for her compared to the ones she now has, so I’m somehow glad that everything’s going her way. And with me? I think I’m going the other way. I mean, I don’t like what’s happening with my life today. Maybe I’m just feeling like I lost a loved one because I’m so attached with the friendship we had. It’s hard for me not to hear a word from her. Before, we know what’s happening to each other for almost every hour of our lives. But now, it seems like it will take me forever to know what’s going on with her life. She’s strong, she can easily adjust and cope with time. But me, I’m weak. I’ve been so dependent to her before. I considered her advices as the best I can have, although sometimes I feel so awkward after hearing what she has to say (that’s because she makes me realize the misconceptions I have), so I stand corrected at the end of the day. I’m still weak, but with her in touch, I’d become far better than before. Some might say that I’m academically gifted, well, they’re wrong because there are a lot of things I had never known without her telling me what those are. With her, I became a better listener, (an “absorber”, she said). I never realized that I’m nice to talk with (I still feel that I’m not good with conversations, but with her, I’m turning into a new person, one who’s good in everything). As one of her text messages says, (text messages, which I think will never happen again,(I wish I was wrong again) so there’s no way hoping for that text message of that special person to come anymore) “words don’t have power over you, unless the person who said them means a lot to you.” She means more than half of my life to me. If there’s someone who had started the change I wanted to see in myself, that would be her. She is my best and truest friend. She’s like a sister and a mother to me. She is my twin.
Writing this makes me feel that I’m so weak. Maybe she’s just trying to teach me how to be independent, to be strong enough to go on by myself. After all, there’s still a lot of work to do before I can find what I’ve always been looking for. And that job is something I must do alone (or lucky enough, with someone whom I can spend the rest of my life with). I should have expected that someday, even a family has to say goodbye to one another, and so is a friend. This is just a preparation for that farewell. I’ll be saying these words anyway, but I admit that it’s always hard to say “goodbye”.
ohayou!!
gandang tanghali!!
gandang hapon!!
gud evening!!
gud nyt!!
sleep tyt!!
sweet dreams!!
god bless!!
ingat lage!!!
’til next tym!!!!
How I wish there’s still a next time.
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This is how a person like me misses his bestfriend/kambal so badly.
The next one is also about her...
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