Overflowing. Ablaze. Overjoyed: CLP Day 10

I have no exact description of what I'm feeling right now. The first words I can think of are those that are in the title of this note. I am overflowing with joy. I am ablaze by His love. I can say words which I myself won't be able to comprehend. I thank Lord God for the gifts of the Holy Spirit I received today. 

It is Day 10, Talk 9 of the CLP. This marks one, if not, the penultimate events in the program û our Baptism. Today we uttered the same words our parents and godparents once said during our first Baptism. This time, it's our turn to be conscious and put those words into reality. A special day needs special preparations. Within the week, I had my one-to-one session with Bro. Den and another confession. I feel refreshed after fulfilling the prerequisites. With a happy heart, I started praying for the gifts I wanted to receive. 

I had my first CLP Baptism six years ago. I can't exactly remember the details of my previous experience, except that I started my day picking up a good friend so we can come together at the venue, listened to some instructions from the leaders, selected a gift of Holy Spirit, closed my eyes and opened my hands as a trio of Brothers prayed over me, and the day ended with a free meal. That was the last day of my first CLP. Now that I am here on the same day once more, I can't explain what I feel. I'm very thankful for this second chance. I have reached the checkpoint, and I'm looking forward to completing the remainder of the program. 

Today, I almost had the same experience, but this time, we had done a lot more. We started with the free meal (thanks to the Service Team for the food), anticipating that we will end up by midnight. We haven't practiced much of the songs. I must say one of the highlights of the day was from Bro. Marlon, our facilitator/speaker. He kept the introduction and the activity lively with his animated sharing and talk. There was never any dead-air while he's delivering the talk and giving out further instructions. Of all the lessons he shared, the one that struck me the most is the option to receive all the gifts of the Holy Spirit. We may have chosen at least three, but there's nothing wrong with receiving all of them since they are gifts from God. With these gifts (which I pray I have wholeheartedly received), I hope to use them wisely so I can also be an instrument of God in sharing his teachings and blessings to others. This, after all, is one of my main intentions for joining CLP once again. I have opened my hands, closed my eyes, felt like floating, shed tears, and felt myself burning with the Holy Spirit. I really cannot say the exact words for this experience. It was good. I can still feel it inside me. I hope this will reside in me and never leave my body, so the tongue of fire will keep burning within me. 

The entire chapel in dim light, the Music Min softly singing worship songs, prayer sessions all around, my co-participants with our eyes closed, and our dedicated prayer partners telling God our wishes: I will never forget this scene. For the most of the session I kept my head bowed down and my eyes closed with a silent prayer in my head. To bring more light in the place, and to close the baptism, we lighted our candles û a symbol of the burning Holy Spirit in us; also a symbol of the light God first showed us, and the same light we will use to guide others. 

All the lights were turned on once again, and there goes the music marathon. This has been the best day of CLP for me so far. I never get tired of singing and clapping (though I don't know most of the songs, I just enjoyed the melody and the lyrics of course) together with the community. 

The seed has been planted. A sapling has started growing. I will continue to water this until it grows into a full-bloomed tree.

Wind and Fire: CLP Talk 8

Finally, it’s Saturday once more. I have been waiting for this day to come for two reasons: First, I will have another time to rest after a busy week at work and; Second, I will be attending the Talk 8 of the CLP.

I first woke up at around 1 in the afternoon, watched a few One Piece episodes, read “It’s not that Complicated”; fell asleep by 4, woke up by the alarm at 5:30; fell asleep again; and woke up at 7:00 pm. I AM LATE! I moved as quickly as a fox and prepared for the program. Thank God I made it; I arrived at exactly the opening Praise songs. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to sing with the group for I don’t know the lyrics and rhythm of the songs, except for one. I have been waiting to sing this one as this is the song I can best remember from my first CLP.

Ablaze

I am ablaze for You Lord

I wanna go out and spread Your love

Ablaze for You Lord

Together we're setting the world on fire

 ===

Whom Shall I Fear

The Lord is my light and my salvation

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

 ===

Consuming Fire

Consuming fire fan into flame

A passion for Your Name

Spirit of God won't you fall in this place

Lord have Your way

Lord have Your way with us

 ===

Our topic for tonight is Life in the Holy Spirit. This is the second to the last topic I was able to attend from my first CLP. I can barely remember the entire details of my first try, though I can still recall something remarkable back then. Bro. Lance, a full-time SFC member, is our speaker. Life in the Holy Spirit is fun and meaningful. Among the ideas one can think of when talking about the Holy Spirit are the Three Personas in One God, and its wind and tongues of fire form. The story of the Ascension and the Pentecost has been tackled. And of course, we should never miss the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. Come next week, we will be choosing at least 3 of the 9 gifts we want to receive. I initially thought of receiving just one, but this time, they said we can select 3. I have already thought of mine and pray that I will be worthy come our Baptism. 

Now I can’t wait for the next week to come. But before that, we need to have One to One sessions again, have a confession, and come early next Saturday in semi-formal attire. It’s been six years since my first CLP Baptism. That was the last day of CLP for me back then. This time, I will make sure to finish the remainder of the program, and be a certified SFC member. There are so many things I’m looking forward to: conferences, outreach programs, teaching sessions, and so many more.

I’m so blessed for being here. I really have found my peace. 

FAther Mother ILY : CLP Talk 7

For once, we finally had clear skies on a Saturday night. I haven't brought my umbrella with me this time, and I felt good about it. My instinct was right. Rain did not fall on that Saturday night. Let's celebrate Day 8, Talk 7 of the CLP. 

This week's theme is the "Christian Family". The speaker of the night is Bro. Rhed, the man who had the greatest influence to Bro. Elmar in the community. The community is already a family. It is heartwarming to see this extended relationships go along for years. I'm hoping to stay here longer , coz this is where I found my peace.

As the routine goes, we practiced the songs for the night. The praise songs were the same ones we sang on our orientation: Truly Home and By Your Side. I enjoyed singing them this time (though a number of times I heard myself out of tune, and hid it with a smile) for I feel freer with the clapping of my hands and stomping of my feet. Our worship song is something new to me. Here goes:

How great is our God sing with me

How great is our God and all will see

How great, How great is our God....

Name above all names

You are worthy of all praise

My heart will sing

How great is our God...

Bro. Rhed started on a high note, throwing as quick questions along with little jokes. One of the questions I had the most interest with is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Before he asked that, I have used those terms interchangeably. Now that it has opened up for explanations, I suddenly realized that there was a big difference between the two; and I was struck at bull's eye. All along, I only had knowledge, but lack wisdom. With this, I might have to rethink the gift I want to receive come baptism. 

He talked of how can one be called a Christian Family. Based from the talk, it has to be (1) a basic unit of the society; (2) a place for teaching and training; (3) a training ground for leaders; and (4) a domestic church. I tried to categorize if my family belongs to one. I admit that we lack of a lot of things, but I believe that we have even more positive hopes than those shortcomings. I will work on bringing my family a step closer to being a "Christian" one. It's a long road, but this CLP taught me the value of patience, hard-work, and most of all, faith. I believe, God always has a better plan. 

We even had a livelier group sharing. Team Pogi (I just came up with this name, thanks to our Pogi Clap)  is complete. This time, I had a better share of listening to their stories. And as always, I felt loads better as we finished the sharing. Bro. Den also gave notice on the upcoming baptism and how we should prepare for it. So I'm getting closer to the day when I stopped the first time. I pray to go further in this second serving. 

Talk 8 is just a week from now. I can't wait for that day to come. 

Inching closer and closer towards my first goal. Thank you, Lord God!

A Bright Star over the Half Moon - CLP Day 6

It was a rainy Saturday night once more, but then the skies were cleared to show a bright star (could be a planet for its brightness) over the half moon. Today is Day 6 of the CLP, and we had a double talk: Talk 5, Christian Ideal of Loving God and Talk 6, Loving your Neighbor  I came early because I have yet to have an OTO with Bro. Den. A mass was being held at the chapel when I came in; nonetheless we proceeded with the OTO. I was glad to confide myself with someone who I only met just a couple of weeks ago. I trust him, and I trust the whole community. I felt the sense of belongingness here, so I will no longer be the shy and reserved guy I always was.

One by one, the participants arrived along with the Service Team. While waiting for others, I had a chat with one of them, Sis. Eden. I hope to have more conversations like this with the others.

I also thought that we will be changing locations this time since the chapel is being prepared for the festivities tomorrow. Rosario will celebrate its Feast on Sunday, so all the chapels were being reserved as such. Thank God that Bro. Elmar was able to settle things out with the authorities, and so we continued.

Not to miss the praise and worship songs for today. This time, since we’re already on Module 2, we can now be more expressive in our songs through clapping or raising our hands.

You came from heaven to earth to show the way

From the earth to the cross my debt to pay

From the cross to the grave

From the grave to the sky

Lord I lift your name on high

===

There’s nothing more I want

There’s nothing more I need

Than to be with you

===

I give you a new commandment

Love one another

As I have loved you

You must also love one another

This is how they will know that you are My disciples

If you love one another

===

Our speakers for the day were long-time members of SFC, and are now part of Couples for Christ, Bro. John and Sis. Lea. Bro. John was the first to take the stage with his lessons on the Christian Ideal of loving God. The topic revolved on the first commandment: to Love God as he loves us. This can be done by loving him with all our heart, all our mind, all our soul, and all our strength (Mt 22:36-38; Mk 12:28-30). This is characterized by a personal commitment, a decision, a clean and holy mind, and giving our 3 Ts (Time, Talent, Treasure).  It is good to say “I love God” in our happy times, but the real challenge is saying the same words in our times of trial. This is how Sis. Melai showed the strength of her faith, despite the grief her family is in right now for losing one of their members (and also a Bro in SFC), Bro. Matthew. I can’t help but shed a tear as Sis. Melai shares how she withstood this challenge and continued loving God at that time. It brought me back to a similar situation, probably the longest and most cruel 40 minutes of my life: seeing my father on his deathbed. How I wish I was as strong as her back then. I am sending my sympathies to her family. 

Next to talk is Bro. John’s, GGG (nice term, I hope to use this also someday :) ), Sis. Lea. Jesus simplified the 10 Commandments sent through Moses into two:  first, to Love God, and second, to love our neighbors  She mentioned a lot of bible verses on love, mostly from the Gospel of John and from the Letter to the Corinthians. “God is love” is one of the widely known definitions of love. I smiled when my best-loved definition of love was also brought up, from 1 Cor 13: 1-13. This time I learned something new, to replace “Love” with “I”. With this, we will not only get a characteristic of love, but also a way on how we should act according to His will. Bro. Jhat is the sharer for this talk. I wish I can do what he had done for his family and how he dedicated himself to the community.

The usual group sharing after the talks immediately came next, and I’m really getting used to the “pogi clap” we devised. Let me be one just this time ^_^.

There ends Day 6 of CLP.

After the session, I joined the service team along with some participants to Bro. Matthew’s wake. We had a vigil ‘til 1 am. Again, I’m praying for the eternal repose of his soul, and may God have mercy on him.

Simula na naman ng Pyestahan

Nagsimula na pala ang filing ng mga Cetificates of Candidacy (COC) ng mga gustong tumakbo sa darating na halalan. Unang araw pa lang ay isinalarawan na nito ang magaganap sa mga susunod na mga buwan hanggang Mayo 2013: makulay at maingay na tila ba isang Pyesta.

Nakakatawa sapagkat may ilan sa mga tagasuporta ng mga pulitikong ito ay nagmistulan pang mga cheering squad habang nagsusumite ng kanilang mga COC ang mga idolo nila. Hindi naman ito ipinagbabawal, nakakatawa lang talaga. Hindi ko alam kung hahanga ako sa kanila dahil napakatapat nila sa kanilang mga idolo or kung anuman. Katulad lang siguro sila ng ilang mga estudyante na sinusuportahan ang mga barista sa apat na linggo ng Bar Exams. Kung masaya silang ginagawa iyon, hayaan na natin sila. Pampaingay nga eh, pampasigla ng mood daw.

At muli, napapatawa na naman ako nang ipakita ang hanay ng mga tatakbong Senador sa magkabilang panig. Nakagawa na ako ng opinyon minsan tungkol sa eleksyon, at hindi nakapagtatakang patuloy pa din ang nakagawian na ng mga masusugid nating tagapaglingkod. Ang dating magkakaaway, magkakampi na, at vice versa. May tatlo ang tila ba namamangka sa dalawang ilog sapagkat pareho silang naanyayahan ng magkabilang panig. Abangan kung ano ang patutunguhan nito sa mga susunod na kabanata.

Maraming mga pangalang ilang ulit ng lumabas sa mga balota. Hindi pa yata ako ipinapanganak, tumatakbo na sila. Bilang isang botante, muli, napapatawa at napapailing na lang ako. Nasa kamay ba nila ang pagbabagong hinahangad ko para sa bansa? Mahirap nang umasa, pero hindi ko pa din isinusuko ang laban. Kahit sa sarili ko man lang, alam kong may pag-asa pa din. Kung hindi man ngayon, maaaring bukas.

At magsisimula lang ang pagbabagong ito sa ating mga sarili. Maging matalino na sana tayo sa pagpili ng mga itatalaga natin sa pwesto. Madilim man ang paligid, umasa pa din tayong may maliwanag na bukas na naghihintay sa atin. Lugmok man, may pag-asa pa ding makabangon tayo. Maghintay lang tayo at kumilos. Ang malawakang pagbabago ay dapat simulan sa pinakamaliit na bahagi ng lipunan. Sarili, pamilya, komunidad, pataas hanggang sa unti-uting maramdaman ang kabutihang dulot ng demokrasya. May boses tayo, bagaman hindi marinig ng iba. Wag lang tayong mapagod sa pagsigaw. Tulad nga ng isang pahayag sa Bibliya, kung patuloy tayong hihingi, tayo'y bibigyan; maghahanap at tayo'y makasusumpong; at kakatok at tayo'y pagbubuksan ng pinto.

Patuloy tayong mangarap. May bukas pa ang bansang Pilipinas.

Sa ngayon, maging mapagmatyag tayo habang idinadaos ang pista ng pulitika. Isang tamang hakbang, at may maganda nang simula ang ating tatahaking daan: Ang TOTOONG tuwid na landas.

Thank you, September

The first Ber month of the year is about to end. There are a lot of things I've got to thank for this past month. 

My post count here started to increase again. It's been a while since I had this many posts in a month, perhaps when I was just starting this blog 3 years ago. I'm glad to be back to my good old self. I am so happy to be writing like this again. 

One of the reasons for this is the CLP. My retreat had really started the change I wanted to see in me. After all the trials, sorrows, endings and misfortunes, there's no better way to restart but to turn to Him. With this in mind, I went on that fateful two-day retreat - had total silence, a perfect time for self-reflection and listening to what God wants me to hear. A broken heart has been healed. I'm back to the light, and I will continue along this way as long as I can. I have found my peace with Him. 

A weekly account of the events in CLP gave me a motivation to write here. With those records, I can look back at what I have learned, and hopefully, share this with others. It was one of my missions for joining after all.

Another one: I am thankful for the heaven's brightest star. It was like I was back at school due to my daily/weekly assignment. I have never "forced" myself to write literary works (if those will really qualify as one) just to express myself. I was proud of the product of my labor. I was able to deliver my message, my only intention for taking my pen and notebook with me. I wish that my message went through. Now, I had the response which I was expecting. Though not the result I was hoping for (hoping and expecting are two different things),  I'm still proud of it anyway. It is my own work after all, though it may have had a different meaning to her. I'm glad that I prepared myself for the outcome of my literary work. Thanks to the peace I found, I can feel like I'll be strong enough to face any trial or misfortune that will come my way. 

I just tried to reach a dream. I may have failed, but I'm more than happy that I tried. I have no regrets. My intention to be heard have reached her. I will welcome the result with open arms and a peaceful heart. It is good to move forward with a bit of courage, something I have learned from my past experiences. 

I will continue my journey. I will still be amazed by the beauty of that star. I will still cherish the light she shared with me and use it as a motivation to keep on the reaching my other dreams. But this time, I will stop chasing her light. I can't thank God enough for letting me see that light of revival in the time I was in total darkness. That light made me better.

September has been a great month for me. For my writing, faith, heart, and dreams. I pray that the next months will be the same like this one, or perhaps even better. Along with the prayer, I will commit myself to choose the right path, and take a stand on everything. 

Thank you, September. 

Repentance and Faith: CLP Day 5 Talk 4

Here goes the last talk to complete Module 1. Majority of the brothers and sisters mentioned that this is one of the talks that change their outlook in life. With an overview of the theme, I guess this will also apply to me. 

The skies are quite clear by 6:00 in the evening this Saturday - an indication that there will be more participants this time. And yet, it is. I'm glad that we're almost double in numbers compared last week. 

It is unusual not seeing Bro. Elmar around as he is the Team Leader for this CLP. Apparently, he can't come this session. Bro. Ross took over his role for this day. (Speaking of Bro. Ross, he showed me a magic trick just before the talk started, something to entertain us. I guess I'm not really good at those hand tricks. I wanna thank him for reaching out to us and giving a warm welcome.) Bro. Jhat, the Chapter Head, was back as well. He's the one of those who told us how this talk has changed him. Not just the talk, but also the worship song. 

It is also the first time that I had a chat with one of the sister participants , though I haven't asked her name (I've heard it was Shy, will ask her next week). It is nice having this short conversations with the people around you, it boosts up my sense of belongingness, something good for a naturally silent and timid person like me. 

Let's proceed with the songs. I don't feel like my voice is in good condition today, but nonetheless, I will sing Him praises and worship. 

Oh God is enough for me

Nothing else will ever be

And I am satisfied 

For I have found my peace

==

I stand on higher ground

I was lost but now I'm here

With you, my refuge

My stronghold, always

With you, faithful one

Holding on

I am always with you

==

Jesus, I believe in you

And I would go 

To the ends of the earth

For you alone are the son of God

And all the world will see

That you are God

You are God

Bro. Arnold, a member of Couples for Christ and previously SFC as well was our speaker for the day. He started with a short tale on the wrongdoings he'd committed as a child and before joining SFC. Somehow, I can connect to what he is saying, for I myself have done those in the past. For all these, we need repentance: not just a simple mindset of avoiding the sins, but actually working on it. It is about taking that step. It doesn't need to be all at once. A step at a time is enough. I have just had my confession last July on my solo retreat, so I felt like I'm feeling lesser guilt for the sins I previously committed. But as Bro. Arnold said, they will come back. There will be temptations to lure as away from God, for us to commit those sins once more. I for one have seen those temptations: most I was able to withstand, but some are still coming back. This battle will continue for quite some time. But with God, I know I will always emerge victorious. Because along with repentance, we need Faith to keep us away from sins. The stronger our faith, the weaker the other forces will be.

Faith is believing without seeing.  Our eyes alone is not enough in faith. What we need is our hearts - and the conviction to follow Him. So we ask, Open the eyes of my heart, Lord.

Since the topic is about repentance and faith, the story of the Prodigal Son will never be missed. The sharers also told of stories similar to the Prodigal Son. I can relate to the story. I have just returned, and I pray that I will keep on threading this path.  I was once blinded by a relationship, that I failed to observe the other things in life, specially my faith in Him. I was glad to be back here. And of course, it is Bro. Den (Pogi ^_^)'s turn to share. The group sharing we had is also an eye opener to me. I had a flashback of my past, and smiled after thinking how those memories had molded me. 

Before the start of the new module next week, we have scheduled our One-To-Ones with our facilitators. I'll be looking forward to my OTO with Bro. Den. I hope to share some more, and learn more as well. 

I have found my peace.

Till next time!