Tao po? Tao po?

Tuloy...
Kaytagal kitang hindi nadalaw. Ano nang nangyari sa'yo?

Naka-hiatus mode na naman si Baliwantunaan. Madami na naman akong dahilan / palusot. Halos dalawang taon nang walang panibagong tala dito. Kaya ngayon, para lang masabing may naipost na ako para sa taong 2015, eto na.

Matatapos na ang taon pero wala akong naisulat dito. Nung nakaraang taon, isa lang. Muntik ko na mabreak and record ng Hiatus X Hiatus. At ngayong nagbabalik na ako, sana naman pati yun bumalik na din sa sirkulasyon.

Ayokong mangako na magiging sobrang aktibo muli sa pagpopost dito. May pailan-ilan lang akong matitinong artikulong nagawa bilang bahagi ng stretch assignments sa trabaho. Masaya naman ako sa naging resulta ng karamihan sa mga iyon, pero meron din na hindi ako ganon ka-fulfilled.

Kamusta na nga ba ang lagay ng pagsusulat ko?

Pinakamadali para sa akin ang magsulat nang walang sinusunod na pamantayan. Grammar, syntax, subject-verb agreement, at kung ano ano pa. Basta maipaintindi ko lang ang nais kong ibahagi, kahit sa mga napakapayak na salita lang, masaya na ako dun. Kaya naman sa tuwing may makikita akong mga nabago sa ginawa ko, hindi maiwasang magkaroon ako ng alinlangan sa pagsusulat ko. Bagaman malugod akong tumatanggap ng kritisismo, at bilang bahagi din iyon ng pagsusulat, sa kaloob-looban ng isip ko, gusto kong ipagsigawan na maayos na naman ang naisulat ko. Ang mahalaga naiintindihan ng mambabasa iyon. Hindi sobrang teknikal, at hindi din naman sobrang impormal. Pero sige na nga, yaman din lamang na kasama talaga sa "trabaho" iyon, pagbigyan na.

At sa susunod na sulatin, balik na naman ako sa paborito kong freestyle na pagsusulat. At kaya narito ako muli, upang muling maranasan iyon. 

Marami akong naisipan na gawan ng post sa halos dalawang taong pahinga dito. Sa tuwing naiisip ko ang mga "sana'y naitala ko dito", napakadaming ideyang nililimi ko. Pero makalipas ang ilang araw, wala na. Mahina na ang retention ko. Mahina  na din ang storage capacity ko. Kelangan ko na atang bumili ng external hard drive, yung 3 TB na (meron ba nun). Kelangan ko din ng determinasyon. Di ko na kelangan ng inspirasyon, malapit lang sa akin yun.

Sa tuwing binabalikan ko ang mga nagdaang tala dito, napapangiti na lang ako, at nagpipigil mapaluha sa mga madamdaming nakapalaman sa ilan. Kaya sana, may magawa akong panibagong tala na katulad o mas higit pa sa mga nagawa ko na dati. Matagal na ako namahinga, nararapat lamang na maganda ang comeback post ko.

Kelangan ikondisyon ang isip. Ihanda muli ang panulat. Ilabas ang papel, at basahin muli ang mga nakalipas na gawa.

Babalikan kita, pangako.

Throwback sa 2013

At dahil nakaugalian ko na ang magbalik-tanaw sa mga nangyari kada magpapalit ang taon, itutuloy ko na ang tradisyon. Dahil Huwebes pa ngayon sa US at Biyernes naman sa Pilipinas, ito-throwback Thursday at Flashback Friday ko na ang mga naganap sa'kin sa taong 2013.

Naging tema ng timeline ko sa Facebook at kahit ng mga post ko sa blog ang pagkekwento ng mga pangyayari sa bawat buwan. Lubi-lubi lang. Hindi ko na kelangang idetalye lahat, pahapyawan na lang natin. Madami din naman akong naaccomplish. Madaming mga alaalang habambuhay kong babaunin, mga lugar na napuntahan, at mga taong pinagpapasalamatan ko sa nagdaang tatlong daan at animnapu't limang araw.. 

Itala ang dapat itala. Heto na:

• Ikinasal na ang bestfriend ko. Chance na din na makabalik sa Bicolandia. Isang sulit na bakasyon na puno ng saya at pagmamahal. 
• Nakaattend sa kauna-unaha kong SFC International Conference (ICON). Sobrang nakakabless sa pakiramdam ang praisefest. Nakakabusog sa spirit ang workshops , sharings at talks. The best!
•  Nakapagleave ng isang buong linggo sa unang pagkakataon. Nakatuntong sa Baguio at Hundred Islands sa unang pagkakataon. May mga nakilalang bagong mga kaibigan habang nasa tip.
• Simula ng service sa SFC. 2 CLP para sa taong 2013 at naging aktibong bahagi ng grupo. One of the best blessings I have received: the gift of service. Thank you, Lord God. I will forever treasure my experience in SFC :)
• Back to back birthday celebrations w/ SFC/friends sa work at family treat noong Holy Week. 
• Meetup with long-time Uzzap friends (Anak, Jadik and Baliwww) for the first time.
• Sugarfree musical with ShinKayCoy, at ilan pang foodtrip. 
• More recognitions sa trabaho.
• SFC Metro Manila Conference (MMC) at Subic. Another round of blessings as a member of SFC :)
• Year-long assemblies and teachings sa SFC. Bonus pa ang Baptism at Lord's Day celebrations.
• Nakabalik sa Tagaytay para sa isang retreat. Promise fulfilled.
• Found a new source of love and joy :))) Thank you once again Lord, for blessing me much more than I deserve despite my unworthiness. 
• CDO-Camiguin-Bukidnon trip with my office friends. First time din na nakasakay sa plane. Hindi na ako bano. :D
• Giving back, looking back: First Christmas Party with FSLE scholars since makagraduate ako noong 2008. Na-alaala muli ang Lasallian prayer. 
• More moments, Christmas and New Year with her.

Karamihan pala sa mga nangyari last year may kaugnayan sa SFC. Muli, habambuhay akong nagpapasalamat sa pagiging bahagi ko dito. I love the experience, conferences, teachings, activities, blessings, households, at lahat-lahat sa SFC. Nanumbalik ako sa paniniwala sa Kanya nang dahil dito. Natagpuan ko ang liwanag sa mga panahong nag-iisa ako noon. Masaya akong nakapagserve sa mahigit isang taon ko. Ansarap sa pakiramdam na may natutulungang mailapit din sa Kanya. Napakarami kong naging mga bagong kaibigan at kapatid sa community. Sobrang blessing din na dito ko nahanap ang pinakanagpapasaya sa akin ngayon bukod sa Kanya. Nakaranas man kami ng madaming pagsubok bilang isang chapter, heto at sama-sama pa din kami. Thank you SFC, for filling my whole year with joy, love, friendship, fellowship, service, praise and worship. Malugod kong tatanggapin anuman ang nakalaan sa akin sa mga susunod na panahon. May your will be done upon me, Lord.



==============
Tama na muna ang pagseselfie. Doon naman tayo sa nangyari sa bansa.

Naging mainit ang pulitika (correction, palagi palang mainit, so mas lalong napansin na lang) last year dahil sa eleksyon, bonuses, tax, pork barrel at Napoles. Halos lahat siguro ng nanonood at nakikinig ng balita at nakatutok sa social media, naging bukambibig si Napoles. Ayoko ng idetalye, alam na ang kasunod. Iwas sa high-blood, bawal ang pork. Good vibes lang dapat palagi, bawal ang sad (maka-Ryzza lang :D Look up look up!)

Sinubok ang bansa ng mga nakakapanlumong kalamidad: lindol sa Cebu at Bohol at Bagyong Yolanda sa huling bahagi ng taon. Libong buhay ang nawala sa ilang iglap lang. Kalikasan na ang salarin, o sabihin na nating epekto na din ng tao sa ginagawa nya sa kalikasan. Kasama pa din sa aming mga panalangin ang lahat ng pamilyang naapektuhan ng mga trahedya.

At dahil good vibes dapat, nakakalubag-loob din naman na makitang nagtutulungan hindi lamang ang mga Pilipino, kundi pati na din ang buong mundo para sa mga nasalanta. Sana araw-araw ganoon, at hindi na kailanganin pa ng isa pang super bagyo o anumang kalamidad para lamang magkaisa ang lahat.

Smile ka din, konti lang :)

Humakot muli ang Pilipinas ng mga korona sa madaming international pageants. Maganda at matalino talaga ang mga Pinay.

Nagkaisa muli ang mga pinoy sa panunumbalik ng sigla ng basketball sa Pilipinas. Nakapasok muli tayo sa World Cup pagkatapos ng napakaraming taon. Laban Gilas! Puso!

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At para sa lahat ng mga aral at karanasan sa nagdaang taon, salamat Panginoon, salamat. Nawa'y maging masagana pa din ang taong 2014. Anumang problemang darating, sana'y masolusyunan din agad. Magpatuloy sana ang mga pangarap na inilatag noon. Madami pa din sanang pagkakataong umunlad. Nawa'y manatiling masaya, ligtas at malusog ang lahat ng aming mga mahal sa buhay.

Hanggang sa muli.

#

The Best Day before Christmas

This could have been just another ordinary day, aside from the fact that the next day will be the celebration of Christ's birth. As for me, I will mark this as a momentous one, for I received one of the greatest Christmas gift from God.

Without a doubt, this is the best day before Christmas I have ever spent.

It's been a month since I heard the sweetest "yes" from my new found love. One month feels like a year with her. Others might say that it is too fast in a short period of time, but only our hearts can tell that what we have is real.

I can really feel Christmas in our hearts. Each day spent with her is Christmas. Every thought of her is Christmas. The greatest love from Jesus, and god's gift through her multiplied this joy a day before Christmas, on the day itself, and on the future years to come.

I pray that this feeling will continue. I hope to do the right things and make the right decisions to keep this new found joy. One month down, more years to follow.

I thank God that I found her. More thanks for sending her and letting me spend the day before Christmas with her. :)

Merry Christmas!

To my new found joy

I barely noticed you before
Yet the universe conspired for me to see you
You were always there
Seems to have your own world
With people already involved
Filled in every role

Then you let your presence felt
You started to show your real self
Took the time to care
Your contagious joy
Your sweet messages
The way you let the child in you play
Your signature pose in every captured moment
The smile drawing on your face
Each time I see you
But deep within
The little girl calls for help
Crying
Longing for something
Missing a gap
Trying to find an answer
Looking for a permanent reason to smile

From your troubles I wanted to rescue you
To hold your hand and stand up tall
For you not to lose hope
To keep believing in everyone
In service and in God
Most of all in yourself
Despite all that you've been through

Yesteday is a mere record
Tomorrow is just a vision
These aren't necessary
For the present you is what matters

I can't promise anything
If I can, I won't
Because promises are not needed
Just a commitment
To continue filling that missing piece
To be with you in times of loneliness
To heal you from all your pain
To guide you in service
To be whatever you need
And to love you unconditionally

I love you
My new found joy

Overflowing, Ablaze, Overjoyed... So on and so forth

The first week of November has been a roller coaster ride, at least in terms of the weather. At least three storms have passed through the country, the latest one recorded as the strongest typhoon in the world for this year. It caused great devastation. Many were saved, but many lost their lives as well. Strong winds and heavy rainfall showered the Visayan region and a lot of provinces in Luzon and Mindanao. The heavy downpour was expected to last throughout the whole week...

But the skies were cleared hours before our SFC Chapters Napico 1 and 2 held the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. 

Thank you Lord for calming the storm, and giving us the perfect weather to celebrate and join our new brothers and sisters in serving You. 

We still experienced the heavy downpour and strong winds this night ... the pouring of the Gifts of the Holy Spirit to our new brothers and sisters, and the winds similar to the first experience of the disciples on Pentecost. Tongues of fire were spread throughout each and every one's mouths, singing praises and worship to the Lord. 

We started with the opening worship led by Bro. Arjay. As we start, we immediately called unto the Holy Spirit to come upon us, most of all for our new siblings. Time to sing praises and offer Him worship once more.

===

You shall be clothed with power from on high when the Holy Spirit comes to you

and you shall be my witnesses throughout the ends of the earth...

Come, Holy Spirit 

Let the Fire fall...

Spirit of the Living God

We affirm your presence here

Spirit of the Living God 

We affirm your power here

To heal us and to deliver us

To rest on us and to empower us

Spirit of God

===

Raising our hands, praying in tongues, closing our eyes, may we feel the presence of the Lord and the Holy Spirit witihn us.

It was still the same upbeat talk from Kuya Marlon. He never fails to deliver such a great talk for Baptism : from his personal experiences, sharings, jokes and skits. Our new brothers and sisters had their interests caught through these. 

What struck our new brothers and sisters most is the moment when they have to admit all their mistakes in the past. For every bit of a shortcoming, failure or wrongdoing, they had to stand up and accept those. It is necessary for the full cleansing of themselves before filling them up with the gifts of the Holy Spirit. This is the time to ask God for forgiveness, which He willingly answered. Our God is a merciful God. He forgives everyone who asks for it and calls unto His name. 

After unloading their burden, it is time for the climax of the talk : the pray-over to receive the gifts prepared by God for them. Silent prayers filled the venue. 

Solemn, peaceful, light. 

Tears, calm faces, delighted hearts. 

The pray-overs ended. Candles were lighted to totally cast away all the negative emotions of guilt, unworthiness, sadness, and pain. The tongues of fire made the whole place in total brightness.

Every special event needs to be remembered. Our closing praisefest lead by Bro. Lei filled exactly what was needed. There is no place here for reservations and feelings of foolishness. We sang to the top of our lungs, shouted, raised and waved our hands, jumped, danced, fell silent, prayed, and raised our hands again - all for praising and glorifying God. The calm faces earlier had turned bright as well with smiles and laughter all around. 

We are so blessed for having this multitude of new fellow warriors in service. Their number still is overwhelming -  goes to show how God works through us and especially through them by accepting His invitation and receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit. 

After tonight's experience, I believe that we will continue to harvest more anointed fighters ready to do His mission. We are out to win this good fight. Let us do this with Him, for Him, and by Him. 

With You Lord, we will continue to experience this overflowing, ablaze, and overjoyed emotions while serving You, fulfilling your mission and looking forward to the future where every single man and woman all over the world experiences Christ.

For all of these, we praise and thank you, Lord God. 

Random Retreat Notes

"Because there are journeys I must travel alone." 

Here are some of the things I have written/read on my second solitude retreat. Let me place it hear, for me to be reminded every once in a while. 

===

Seek the good of others. 1 Cr 10:23

All are essential. 1 Cr 12:22-25

Love. 1 Cr 13:4-13

===

Be clean inside. Let God be the ultimate desire. Disregard the superficial desires, things of the outside. God will bring peace. 

(Homily)

===

Faith, if it does not have works, is dead. Jm 3:17

For one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, it is a sin. Jm 4:17

No longer I, but Christ in me. Gal 2:20

If we hope for what we do not see, we wait with endurance. Rm 8:25    

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Even though I am not what I want to be, I am not what I used to be. 

"Help me run the race that is before me with patience, not to run too fast and not to make things happen in my future, but to let Your will be worked out in my life."

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The creaking of the swings still gives the same sound. The landscape still has its familiar color and shape. The room still has the same peace and warmth inside. 

Far away from the noisy city, I'm reliving the same experience I had the first time I was here. 

I came here before to mend a broken heart. 

I came here again to rekindle the fire burning within me. 

The heart has been completely healed : filled with joy and peace. 

The fire keeps on burning and found itself a new reason to keep on being ablaze. 

Setting aside matters of the world, putting my priorities in place.

The first and the last. The beginning and the end. 

Discernment. 

Peace. 

Courage. 

Dreams.

Desires. 

Destination. 

Let me make the right decisions this time. 

To go after my dreams, or to look for something new. 

To accept another opportunity to serve.

Let me hear Your voice. 

===

Encourage one another and build one another up. 1 Thes 5:11

Name above all names. Ph 2:9

"Let us ask for grace not to tire of asking forgiveness, because He never tires forgiving."

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. Jn 1:5

While you have the light, believe in the light, so that you may become children of the light. Jn 12:3-6

If you ask for anything of me in my name, I will do it. Jn 12:14

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Jn 15:27

Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Rm 10:13

None of us lives for oneself, and no one dies for oneself. Rm 14:7

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"Help me to keep a good attitude and a cheerful heart no matter what I am facing."

===

We walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Cr 5:7

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A time for everything. Ec 3:1-15

==

For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 2:10

The Lord is faithful; He will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.

#

Macoy. October 14-16, 2013. 

Euneirophrenia

Morning dew on the greenfields
Golden rays over the windowsill
Shadows in dim light
Earnest wind blowing
Face buried in the pillow
Images flashing through
Floating in space
A gentle smile
Eyes wide open